Welcome back Tailgating Fans! We have a new competition to find the best Tailgating accomplices and the competition has moved into it’s third week. This week will have a different feel. The reason you ask…well…the two contestants this week are not real. No, Sportsboy is not talking about my imaginary friends. Even though that does sound like quite the contest. This week is about two of America’s favorite cartoon Dads. Homer Simpson vs. Peter Griffin.
This competition will be graded by a new set of criteria on our sliding Five Point Scale:
- Relevancy – Which character is more relevant to today’s Tailgater?
- Family and Friends – Which characters Family and Friends are more entertaining?
- Consumption – Which character will consume more of your beverages and food?
Peter Griffin or Homer Simpson…which one is more important and relevant to America’s Tailgater? This one is not even close in my book. Peter Griffin has easily supplanted Homer as America’s favorite animated JackAss. Peter has even helped creator Seth McFarland win critical acclaim and the ever elusive Emmy. What does that have to do with Tailgating? Absolutely nothing, but Peter and his brood have completely taken over with those under the age of 40. Have to side with Peter on this one. (Peter 4.0 – Homer 1.0)
Now we can get to the area that brings the competition closer together. Family and Friends! Both Peter and Homer have interesting familial units. Homer, with Bart alone would be an interesting hang, but Bart, even after 20 some odd years, is still too young to consume beverages. Lisa and Maggie probably bring down the “Fun Factor” but it is the citizens of Springfield that make the Tailgate come alive. However, even with all those crazy fools in Springfield, how can they compete with a talking dog and the single coolest Baby ever? Simple answer…they cannot! Brian, Stewie (I know, he can’t drink yet either, but hey…the kid built a Time Machine…so he is cool in my book), Quagmire (Seriously, how much fun would Quagmire be at a Tailgate with young ladies around?) and the rest of Quoahog would help put Peter over the top in this category. (Peter 3.0 – Homer 2.0).
Consumption? This category is truly hard to split hairs between the two behemoths. Peter and Homer may be two of America’s all-time gluttons, but that is one of the reasons why we love them. After some careful thought and going back to look at the tape so-to-speak Homer makes his move. While Peter would definitely make a run at all of your Tailgating supplies, Homer has actually been able to drink his way out of a complete holding tank of Duff beer before. Really, how does anyone compete with that? Homer is also the kind of person who can eat hamburgers in single bites. At least Louis Griffin would attempt to slow down Peter before he devoured and consumed all of your Tailgating fare, but not even Marge’s crazy ass blue hair can slow down Homer when he decides to take the Tailgate down. This one finally goes to the ageless one…Homer Simpson (Homer 3.0 – Peter 2.0)
Wow, the Inside Tailgating Crew just wasted some of your time on one of the great hypothetical questions ever. What do you think? How can one decide between these two? How awesome would it be to actually have to make this decision? Anyway, let us know who you want next to you while you prepare for your game. Remember, your friends will be there, so take the time to think it through.